Hugging the Cactus: The Hard Work of Step Four
- Daniel Lee
- 6 days ago
- 4 min read
Step Four: We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
If you thought the first three steps were challenging, welcome to where it gets real. Steps one through three are about surrender: I can't, He can, I think I'll let Him. But step four? This is where you actually have to do something.
When Jesus Called Zacchaeus Down From the Tree
Remember Zacchaeus (Luke 19:1-10)? The tax collector was so short (possibly dealing with dwarfism) that he had to climb a tree just to catch a glimpse of Jesus. A lifetime of being overlooked, pushed aside, and ridiculed had turned him into someone who wielded power over others through his position. Hurt people hurt people.
But then Jesus did something unexpected. He looked up and said, "Zacchaeus, hurry down. I'm coming to your house today."
For possibly the first time in his life, Zacchaeus felt seen. Not because he demanded it or used his authority, but in his vulnerability, up in that ridiculous tree, Jesus acknowledged him.
And here's the key: Jesus didn't wait for Zacchaeus to clean up his act first. He invited himself over as Zacchaeus was. The transformation came after the encounter with Christ, not before.
"Look, I'll give half my possessions to the poor," Zacchaeus declared. "And if I've extorted anything from anyone, I'll pay back four times as much."
That's the process. Get your relationship with God right first. Then let Him transform you from the inside out.
Why We Avoid the Mirror
Research by Tasha Eurich reveals that while nearly everyone believes they're self-aware, only 10-15% actually are. The rest of us coast through life on autopilot, never searching inside ourselves, never understanding how our actions impact others.
We're blind to our own blind spots. That's literally why they're called blind spots.
And honestly? We don't want to look. When you go digging in the attic or basement of your soul, you're going to find cobweb-ridden corners that haven't seen light in 30 years. All that painful stuff is going to come rushing back.
But here's the truth: if you don't know you're lost, you're not going to be found. If you don't know you're broken, you can't get fixed.
What Step Four Requires
Taking a fearless moral inventory demands three things:
Humility, not pride or shame. Your ego will tell you, "I'm not that bad. This is for other people." But if we say we have no sin, we're deceiving ourselves (1 John 1:8).
Honesty, not deception. Stop lying to yourself. Stop putting on a mask for others. This step is about brutal self-honesty.
Grace with yourself. This isn't about beating yourself up or wallowing in self-pity. It's about practicing the grace and forgiveness with yourself that you'll need to show others.
How to Begin
Start with prayer. Psalm 139 gives us the words: "Search me, God, and know my heart. Test me and know my concerns. See if there is any offensive way in me."
This might be one of the most dangerous prayers you can pray. Are you sure you want God to reveal the parts of yourself you're unaware of?
Then get practical. You can:
Use worksheets (available online or through recovery programs)
Take the StruggleFinder quiz at Regeneration Recovery's website
Journal freely about your thoughts, fears, and resentments
What should you write about?
Your resentments - Who hurt you? What happened? What was your part in it?
Your fears - What are you actually afraid of? Name them to tame them.
Sexual conduct - How have you been harmed or caused harm?
Other harms - When were you the tree (harmed by others)? When were you the axe (causing harm to another)?
Your character - List both your flaws AND your strengths. This isn't just about what's wrong.
The Love Chapter Exercise
Want a starting point? Try 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 as a self-examination tool:
Love is patient. Am I patient or impatient?
Love is kind. Am I kind or kind of mean sometimes?
Love does not envy. Do I get jealous easily?
Love is not boastful. Do I have to one-up people in conversations?
Love is not arrogant. "Oh, I'm very humble, thank you very much." Yeah, there's work to do.
Love is not rude. How do I treat wait staff? Other drivers?
Love is not self-seeking. Am I genuinely others-focused, or am I serving out of pride?
Love is not irritable. Do I fly off the handle at nothing?
Love keeps no record of wrongs. Am I keeping score?
If God is love, and Jesus is the ultimate representation of God, and we're called to be like Christ, then we need to measure ourselves against this description of love.
It won't be fun. But you've got to hug the cactus.
The Difference Between Two Rich Men
In Luke 18, just before we meet Zacchaeus, a rich young ruler asked Jesus what he needed to do for eternal life. When Jesus told him to sell his possessions and give to the poor, he walked away. He couldn't face the truth about himself, that he was addicted to money and power.
But Zacchaeus? He embraced the truth and found transformation.
There's a saying in recovery circles: You're only as sick as your secrets.
There is nothing covered that won’t be uncovered, nothing hidden that won’t be made known. (Luke 12:2, CSB)
If you're not willing to let these things come to light, you'll never find healing. If you can't embrace the truth, you'll never experience transformation.
The work is painful. The work is necessary. And the work is worth it.
Because healing awaits on the other side of that pain. The only way to get there is to go through.
Prayer for Step Four:
Dear God, it is I who has made a mess of my life. I've done it and I cannot undo it. My mistakes are mine, and I will begin a searching and fearless moral inventory. I will write down my wrongs, but I will also include that which is good. I pray for the strength to complete the task.
Amen.
LISTEN TO OR WATCH THE FULL SERMON HERE:
Comments